A Travel Writer’s Tips to Help Your Fear of Flying

April 1, 2022 Marsha Mowers

Travel’s fun – and in my case, it’s my job.  It’s not unusual to be in the air at least once a month, whether a quick trip the US, somewhere in the Caribbean or Mexico or even longer haul to Europe. I’ve been lucky enough to visit countries like Japan, Greece, Spain, Ireland, France, Curacao and places throughout the Caribbean and Mexico for both work and pleasure.

But what many people don’t know is that I have aerophobia – an absolute fear of flying.  I joke about it but it’s not that much of a laughing matter. 

In the days leading up to my flight, I have irrational fears – what if this is the last week I see my family because I’m in a plane crash? The night before is filled with anxiety and I’m usually lucky if I can get two hours sleep.  Flying home I experience similar thoughts; wow, this was such a great trip, maybe too good and I’m going to die now? I toss and turn the night before, again only getting an hour or two of sleep.

Strangely, I do really love the whole idea of flying; I love the sound and smell of airports. I even like airplane food (those little compartments!) The anticipation of what awaits me in my destination is so exciting. I get to see coworkers, meet people I’ve only interviewed on the phone and of course, experience the newest properties and culture of wherever I’ve landed.  

Perhaps even stranger is the fact that a big chunk of my family and friends are pilots and flight attendants.  I’ve had it explained to me how flying works, how safe it is to fly; it doesn’t really help.  But then again, anxiety is based on irrational thinking, which is the root of my problem.

I know many people share my fears, and there are clinical steps you can take to reduce your anxiety. I thought I’d share a few tried and true personal tips for what helps me step on that plane.

When you get to the airport – take a step back for a few minutes.  Look at the departure/arrival boards – this will give you a sense of just how many people and planes there are in the sky.  Plane crashes are very, very rare, but if you have anxiety about flying, you tend to feel they happen all the time.  Seeing the sheer number of flights landing and departing helps to put it into perspective.

Don’t sit at the gate and wait.  Like most things, being left alone in your thoughts can make you more anxious. Watching the maintenance crews in their safety jackets discuss things with the gate agents can make you question if something is wrong.  Gate agents can be overwhelmed getting ready, so seeing them concentrate on computers can also make you anxious.  I prefer to walk around, check out the shops – and do my own little ritual of a big glass of white wine and a munchie while I sit and work on my laptop. 

Let the crew know when you board, you’re not a good flier. This is perhaps my biggest tip. As I’m boarding the aircraft, I let the attendants know I’m not a good flier, even though I work in travel and fly all the time.  It’s usually met with a chuckle and sometimes a quick meet and greet with the pilots. They are experienced to deal with all types of travellers and have helped me tremendously throughout the years. I’ve had them come to my seat in advance of the pilot announcing we were going to hit some turbulence and talk to me. It’s comforting and very helpful.

Talk to your doctor. My doctor has the same irrational fear, which weirdly, actually makes me feel a bit better about it. She prescribes a medication called lorazepam for me.  I have taken it, but it does make me sleepy, so if it’s a short flight and I must hit the ground running, I usually avoid it. But just knowing it’s there if I need it though can be helpful.

Focus on what lies ahead.  Most people are travelling somewhere that’s going to make them happy.  A sunny vacation, a bucket list item – somewhere with people they know and love and who they are about to make great memories with.  Once you’re on the plane, there’s not much you can do to control it, so take some deep breaths, watch a funny movie, order a drink and snacks, and focus on the fun you’re about to have in destination.

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